Welcome one, welcome all, to by far our most ambitious and probably dumbest project yet: The Food Pairing Tournament.
We have here 32 of the most elite food & beverage pairings on the planet. We’ve chosen to have them duke it out, tournament style, and see who emerges victorious.
BUT, to make it more fun, the two of us will also be duking it out, as we have randomly chosen sides and recruited teammates.
Jesse is fighting for the Food Network Conference.
Wilder is fighting for the Travel Channel Conference.
Every Monday, we’ll check back in with the tournament to figure out just how well our foods are doing, finally culminating with our champion.
What are the ground rules?
Everything in this bracket needs to be something that people commonly consume ON ITS OWN as well as by itself. In addition, these foods need to be thought of in their most perfect form. The absolute top of their game.
Is that why Ketchup & Fries aren’t here?
Yes. Same with Chips & Salsa.
But I love those foods.
Yeah but people eat ketchup by itself.
Well those people deserve to be burned alive.
Yeah but what if-
SHUT UP ALREADY, THEM’S THE RULES.
How do the teams factor in?
Teams are to talk as much shit to the opposing team as possible. Also everybody on the winning team will receive a one million dollar cash prize.
How did you figure out the seeding?
We wrote ‘em all out and drew the names randomly in two sets of 16. Then we had a third party seed them for each conference (making sure to keep repeat foods in different divisions). It’s all very fancy and sciency. You wouldn’t understand.
Your bracket looks poorly drawn.
You look poorly drawn.
Alright. Them’s the berries. See you in a week for the first round results.